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and I don't want to repost and confuse everyone who's already read it - Idiot Control Now
bees on pie, burning rubber tires
mellowcandle
mellowcandle
and I don't want to repost and confuse everyone who's already read it
Now that I've put part 3 up, I realize I should have combined 2 and 3 as one chapter. These are much shorter than I remember them being, and I haven't fleshed them out as much as I thought I would. Or, you know, at all.

But, yeah, these are 1500 words, whereas part 11 came in over 5000. And it seems kinda unfair to make you wait until chapter 3 to get Guy's answer, but at least, maybe, the kiss will feel earned if it's in chapter 5 instead of sooner, because it gives the illusion of time passing to have it in a later chapter than to combine events into fewer longer chapters. So there's that. And at least by chapter 6 they start getting longer anyway.

Did anyone ever come up with a better way to end part 4? Because I haven't, really, other than to take out the last line and have it end with the king's question, which still feels like an abrupt place to end, especially since Guy has no answer.

I don't know.

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Current Mood: confused confused
Current Music: the promise--when in rome

6 pathetic excuses or justify your existence
Comments
cal_reflector From: cal_reflector Date: October 6th, 2010 05:51 pm (UTC) (Link)
One option seems abrupt, but as it is Guy's last line may be superfluous. Outside the box: Maybe Natalia overhears and we can glimpse her reaction.
mellowcandle From: mellowcandle Date: October 6th, 2010 08:25 pm (UTC) (Link)
I just worry because there's no followup. If I leave it there, and then the next chapter ignores it, people will be like, well, is he? Which isn't something I'm ready to get into yet.

And my one problem with Nat eavesdropping--while I totally think she'd try--is that I don't think she could, given the size of the room. Once she leaves, it'd probably be very, very difficult to hear what was going on inside. This isn't in the king's private chambers; it's in the large audience hall.
cal_reflector From: cal_reflector Date: October 6th, 2010 09:21 pm (UTC) (Link)
I, for one, am willing to bend logic in minor details if the resultant drama is worthwhile. Maybe she keeps the doors a crack open, maybe there's a spot from which she can listen in from (architectural secret/glitch?), or just showing her outside wondering.
mellowcandle From: mellowcandle Date: October 7th, 2010 05:58 pm (UTC) (Link)
I'll see if I can come up with something.

(And I think it's hilarious now how everyone's following the links on my ffnet profile and coming over here to read ahead.)
cal_reflector From: cal_reflector Date: October 7th, 2010 06:03 pm (UTC) (Link)
Undermined by your own success.
mellowcandle From: mellowcandle Date: October 7th, 2010 09:57 pm (UTC) (Link)
Such is the price of being awesome.
6 pathetic excuses or justify your existence