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not that it matters anyway - Idiot Control Now — LiveJournal
bees on pie, burning rubber tires
mellowcandle
mellowcandle
not that it matters anyway
This was funnier in my head, and makes me wish I could draw. It needs visuals. And my Anise still sounds too much like my Meiling. Need to work on that.

In the same vein as "Lingerie"--just random silliness for the sake of amusing myself.

Title: I Know It When I See It
Series: ToA
Length: 865 words
Genre: "Humor"
Summary: Anise finds an... interesting book in the library.

Tags: , ,
Current Mood: weird weird
Current Music: oops I did it again--britney spears

2 pathetic excuses or justify your existence
Comments
cal_reflector From: cal_reflector Date: July 30th, 2009 12:31 am (UTC) (Link)
The humor is woven right into your narration. I like it lots.

No suggestions on characterization, because you know them better than I do. But I feel Natalia needs to bluster more in front of Guy. Maybe Anise can act a bit more childish instead.
mellowcandle From: mellowcandle Date: July 30th, 2009 01:46 pm (UTC) (Link)
I just got this picture in my head of the three girls wide-eyed, trying to figure out just what they were looking at. It was all downhill from there.

This was my first outing with Tear. Poor girl. She deserves better.

Natalia, I didn't know whether in her flustered arousal embarrassment if she should go to the treat-Guy-like-a-servant place, and when I couldn't make his reaction work with that, I just had her run away. She maybe should have come across better.

Anise I love because while she should be childish, she's smarter than the rest of them, and needs to have that sly nature.
2 pathetic excuses or justify your existence