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same as before, I'm to blame - Idiot Control Now — LiveJournal
bees on pie, burning rubber tires
mellowcandle
mellowcandle
same as before, I'm to blame
I've written exactly one sentence of the next chapter. I've kinda been thinking about it in my head, but I have nothing else down on paper.

My insomnia came back this week. I've just been too tired during the day to concentrate, but I can't nap because then I can't sleep at night, but then I can't sleep at night so I'm tired the next day and want to nap but can't and etc etc. Vicious cycle.

I might try to go to Starbucks and caffeinate and work on it when I go out to the grocery store later.


I put in another application with the city last week, and checking my online status it says first "received", then "eligible", so there's that. Looking at my previous applications, I've supposedly always been eligible for the positions I'm applying for. I'm just not getting past that to an actual interview.

One reason I'm applying with the city is to get holidays off. It's why I haven't bitten the bullet and applied for retail. But I am not, not, not going back to cubicle hell.



Oh, and I'm fed up with Lycos mail being down constantly. I have to be naked facing east and juggling chipmunks to get it to load. My LJ and ff.net accounts are tied to it, and I'm going to have to find something else. I can't put up with this anymore. Ever since they "upgraded" it it's been nothing but shit.

Current Mood: exanimate exanimate
Current Music: to your grave--ingram hill

5 pathetic excuses or justify your existence
Comments
serena_b From: serena_b Date: July 22nd, 2010 04:24 pm (UTC) (Link)
Insomnia, I know what that's like. I think I've always had it because of my anxiety. And then when I finally get meds to get better my work schedule went to overnights.... Sometimes you just can't win.

My job search has been hell. I honestly don't know what all I qualify for. I thought it would be more but most employers want degrees over experience it seems. My cousin forwarded my resume to her boss so I'm kind of hoping that I hear back from her. Mon-Fri 9-5 seems like a dream to me right now, lol.

Good luck in your job hunting. Just keep putting in apps. Something will come along eventually.
mellowcandle From: mellowcandle Date: July 22nd, 2010 08:40 pm (UTC) (Link)
Sometimes I just can't sleep, and sometimes I get weird achy pains at night and then I focus on them to the point where I can't think about anything else but how bad I feel. I did go to the doctor last year but she said she couldn't find anything wrong, so I just deal. It sucks.

I think part of my problem is I've been unemployed by choice the past few years, and now when I try to look, everyone else is looking too and has more recent experience than I do (and then there's the old "how do you get experience if no one will give you experience" paradox--on my last application I made it clear I'm looking to get experience by applying for a temp position).

Hope something good pans out for you. 9-5 isn't so bad when you get weekends and holidays. I didn't mind that part; I just hated what I was doing.
cal_reflector From: cal_reflector Date: July 23rd, 2010 02:50 am (UTC) (Link)
Maybe you need to take a break from The Story and write/do something else. Go play some video games or something. I've written nothing else but my Main Story for 2 months; the CCS idea is burning a hole in the back of my mind.

Have you tried covering all artificial lights in your bedroom? Going off caffeine for a while? Regular, tiring exercise helps me regulate sleep; when I stop exercising (like I have since I've been in Taipei) my quality of sleep drops.

mellowcandle From: mellowcandle Date: July 23rd, 2010 05:30 pm (UTC) (Link)
I've tried everything.
cal_reflector From: cal_reflector Date: July 23rd, 2010 11:35 pm (UTC) (Link)
Sorry, I can only imagine your frustration and exhaustion.
5 pathetic excuses or justify your existence