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for heaven rest us, I'm not asbestos - Idiot Control Now
bees on pie, burning rubber tires
mellowcandle
mellowcandle
for heaven rest us, I'm not asbestos
Okay, this is not the complete chapter, but it is up to where I started having trouble getting my conversations finished and transitioning between the different groupings. Transitions are one of my major weaknesses.

And since it isn't complete, I've spellchecked but not proofread, so there may be errors.


Working Title: How Far
Series: ToA
Characters: Natalia, Guy, etc etc
Part 11 of ?






The morning of her birthday, Natalia arrived in the dining room to find two beautifully wrapped presents waiting at her place. On the sideboard near the table were stacks of cards and greetings from those who could not attend her party later, as well as the regular collection of drawings and stories from the children of the city. The drawings were always her favorite gifts. She felt so honored that the children looked up to her, and she strove to be the best role model she could for them.

Guy was already in the dining room, and he stood when he saw her. “Good morning, Your Highness,” he said with a most proper bow, “and happy birthday.”

“Thank you.” He came around the table to pull her chair for her, and after she sat, he lowered his head and brushed his nose against her hair. It tickled, but in a way that made something in her flutter. His lips lightly touched the curve of her ear before he stood again.

Moments alone were few and brief. She hadn’t had a proper kiss in three days, and she was beginning to miss it, even more than she had during their weeks apart. There was a longing building up inside her, and the feel of his lips on her skin made her ache for more.

“Open your presents,” he said, still standing beside her rather than retaking his seat.

“Which one is yours?”

“Both. Do this one first.”

Inside the first, smaller box was a book of ghost stories. “Ooh, marvelous,” she said appreciatively. “Have you read these?”

“No, but they’re supposed to be true,” he answered.

“That’s even better. Thank you.” An image appeared in her mind, the two of them sitting in front of the fireplace as he read to her. She would jump and shudder and gasp at all the appropriate parts, and he would laugh at her and hold her closer. And then….

She banished any further thoughts for now and turned her attention to the second gift.

The larger box held something much more interesting. “Oh, my!” she said, not knowing what else to say. An intricately twisted handle protruded from a leather sheath, and when removed, revealed a gleaming narrow blade.

“I just thought that, in light of everything, it might be a good idea to have a little extra protection,” he explained. “I’ve got one, too.” He reached down and pulled his own stiletto from his boot. “See, a matching set.”

In a strange way, she found it to be a most romantic gesture. He was worried about her safety. It wouldn’t matter how skilled an archer she was if she didn’t have her bow with her. Should she need to defend herself, a small, concealed dagger would be quite handy indeed. “You’re right,” she said. “I should be prepared.”

“After breakfast, we’ll go to the gym, and I’ll show you how to use it.”

“Don’t I just…?” She made a series of stabbing motions, learning the weight of the knife in her hand.

He chuckled at her direct approach. “Yeah, that’s one way to do it.” His humor deflated the sense of danger she’d felt lately, though since the single arrow, nothing else had happened. Neither were they any closer to discovering the source of the threat. It would be too easy to pretend everything was all right, but if they lowered their guard and grew complacent, they’d be wide open for their attacker’s next move. “Though you’re lacking a certain finesse.”

“Well, yes, finesse is important, isn’t it?”

“And don’t forget this.” He leaned across her, his arm brushing hers, and removed the sheath from the box. “So you can wear it under your dress, like so.” As demonstration, he wrapped the leather sheath around his leg and held it in place.

She stood and prepared to follow his example, raising her skirt to her knees.

“You can just do it later,” he said quickly, and she dropped her skirt.

“That might be best.” Sometimes it was too tempting to tease him, but she should know better than to be showing him her knees at breakfast when anyone could walk in. “Thank you so much for thinking of me.”

“Always, Your Highness.”

While he was standing so close to her, it would be a shame not to take advantage of this rare moment of privacy. Her lips met his in a soft, fleeting touch, still not the proper kiss she’d been needing, but enough to get her through breakfast.

They returned to their seats just as one of the kitchen maids appeared to pour the tea. “Thank you, Rosalie,” Guy said, flashing his easy smile, and the girl blushed and curtsied before him.

“You are such a flirt,” Natalia said once Rosalie had gone.

“What?” He blinked, innocent as a newborn. “All I said was thank you.”

It wasn’t what he said but how he said it. He was incredibly gracious with the servants, perhaps because of the time he’d spent serving in her uncle’s house. But with the women, there was that added layer of charm and chivalry. Her maids had all developed mad crushes on him.

Not that she could blame them.

***


That evening was a perfect night for a ball. The weather was clear and temperate, the sky scattered with stars like diamonds on velvet. The doors to the ballroom were thrown wide to let the gentle breeze circulate and soothe the many guests who had come to celebrate the princess’s birthday and meet the young man who would soon be her prince.

When the party was initially planned, Natalia had wanted a masquerade ball. After the threat against her and Guy, however, security had been increased, and the king wanted to cancel the costume aspect altogether. Natalia managed to sweet talk her father into a compromise where costumes would be allowed, but not masks. As it was, no one should be entering the palace without an invitation, and all guests would thus be known and accounted for.

That did not mean, however, that their attacker would not be present.

Still, Natalia refused to dwell on that unpleasant topic and let it ruin her enjoyment in playing dress up. Louise had designed a wonderful mermaid-inspired gown for her, with a shimmery green skirt that flared below the knee to mimic a tail fin. The bodice was just a shade darker than her skin and adorned with scallop-shaped embellishments in the expected places. A string of pearls looped around her neck, and a matching bracelet adorned her left wrist. To finish the look, two glittering starfish barrettes held her hair away from her face.

She knew she’d chosen well when Guy could not stop looking at her. He, meanwhile, was indulging his childhood pirate obsession, wearing a ruffled open-necked shirt and dark breeches with his boots. A red sash was tied around his waist, and an eyepatch—once he realized how it interfered with his depth perception— was pushed up on his forehead. As no pirate costume would be complete without a sword, he’d brought along a toy cutlass. This pretend weapon was inspected and allowed. No one but Natalia knew about the very real dagger in his boot.

Most of her guests had gotten into the spirit of the evening as well. There were characters from fairy tales and folk legends, animals real and mythical, and even various fruits and vegetables. Some costumes were simple additions to existing formal wear, and some were impressive, elaborate creations. The ballroom had turned into a fantastic wonderland, and it was just what Natalia had wanted.

“Many happy returns, Your Highness.”

“Why, thank you,” she answered, returning Jade’s slightly sarcastic bow with a somewhat sarcastic curtsy of her own. “You look rather dashing this evening.” And it was true. Eschewing a traditional costume, he was dressed in an elegant black suit, including a crisp white cravat and ruby pin. Even his hair had been pulled back in a tidy queue. “Have you come disguised as a proper gentleman?”

“Ha ha, I don’t think anyone would believe that,” he replied with a deliberate adjusting of his spectacles. “Instead, let us say that I am the ghost of my former self, doomed to wander this world for eternity.” He waggled his fingers at them for good measure. “Boo.”

“Hmm,” Guy mused, a crooked finger to his chin. “I would have thought you were your own replica.”

“Oh, yes, that would have been much more clever,” Natalia added.

“Not to mention scarier.”

“I know I’d never sleep at night.”

The colonel sighed. “You children have no respect for your elders.”

“Thanks, we try,” Guy said, and Natalia giggled.

“By the by, Natalia, as birthday and wedding gift both, I have endeavored to teach our young Gailardia everything I know. However, should he prove to be an abject failure, feel free to blame the emperor.”

She looked to Guy for some clarification on this matter, but he had shut his eyes and was shaking his head. “Well, thank you for that, I suppose,” she replied.

With another adjustment of his glasses, Jade bid them a farewell for now and left in search of libations stronger than the champagne cocktails being served.

“You know, I’m convinced that this—” Guy mimed the glasses maneuver. “—is his way of flipping us off.”

She’d often wondered that herself. “What sort of knowledge was he talking about?”

Perhaps she shouldn’t have asked. Guy went completely pale. “I want you to promise me that you will never, ever ask what they tried to tell me.”

Whatever it was had clearly left him scarred. “Yes, I promise.”

He managed to pull himself back together as Count Doucet appeared to bestow his best wishes.

Between the preparations and other obligations of this wedding week, Natalia had been drilling Guy with the names and titles of the many people he’d be meeting. She’d worried that she was overwhelming him with trivial bits of information, and reassured him that he needn’t be too concerned if he blanked on someone’s position in the kingdom. Yet his memory proved to be a steel trap from which the slightest detail could not escape. With each introduction, he impressed the lords and ladies with his wealth of knowledge on almost any subject, and his ability to reflect the focus of the conversation back onto them was a brilliant way to gain their instant approval.

She was incredibly proud to have him by her side.

“How am I doing?” he asked when they had a moment to breathe.

“Like you were born to it,” she answered. He smiled at her as she slid her arm through his, then she clutched it tightly as she realized who was approaching them next.

“Happy birthday, Your Highness,” Lady Adele said. Her tone and expression were so polite that they lacked any sincerity. Rather than come in costume, she was dressed all in black as if she were in mourning.

Alfred accompanied his mother, saying nothing, shuffling his feet with obvious disinterest. He had attempted to dress for the evening as a coliseum gladiator, but he looked about as imposing as a lost puppy. Unlike Guy, he was not equipped with a plastic weapon, but Natalia didn’t know if he’d forgotten it or if the guards had taken it from him upon entering the palace.

“Thank you. It’s so good of you to join us this evening.” Natalia’s own words were equally stiff and formal. “Lady Adele, Alfred, I’d like to introduce my fiancé, Count Gardios. Guy, darling, this is the Duchess Adele Creemore and her son, Alfred.”

Guy’s blue eyes widened slightly at the casual endearment. She’d meant it as a territorial claim, but it felt natural, too, like she’d been waiting for an excuse to say it.

He greeted each of them in turn. “But surely one so youthful must be Alfred’s sister, Your Grace.”

Natalia watched carefully for the duchess’s reaction. Guy’s charm could melt glaciers, but Lady Adele’s ice was in no danger of thawing. “Such an old line,” the duchess clucked.

“I prefer to think of it as a classic,” he answered, smile still in place. Natalia had to admire that. She was practically in the dagger-eye stage herself.

“You look familiar, Count Gardios,” Lady Adele continued. “Have we met before?”

“I don’t believe so,” he answered. “Perhaps you knew my mother, Eugenie Cecille.” Even with his voice smooth as honey, Natalia heard the bitter note in it. He could play the political game just as she was forced to, but that didn’t mean he had to like it. Her arm was still in his, and she held him just a little closer. “Or maybe my cousin, the general.”

The duchess didn’t so much as blink. Instead, she seemed to enjoy Guy’s veiled bitterness. “Oh, yes, I remember now,” she said, her eyes dark and hard. “You were Susanne’s house boy, weren’t you? Such a young and scrawny thing then.”

“Yes, that was me. It was an honor to serve such a distinguished family.” His body was tense, and Natalia held his arm even closer to her breast to remind him that she was here.

“Well, well, from servant’s quarters to the palace. You’re the perfect match for our special princess, aren’t you?”

Natalia had almost bitten her tongue off at this point, but Guy remained calm. “The titles and palace would mean nothing without Natalia by my side. I would gladly live in a tent on the beach as long as we’re together.” He turned to her now with the most adoring smile she had ever seen. It couldn’t be for show, for anyone else’s benefit. It couldn’t be.

“That’s so sweet of you, darling,” she answered with a girlish giggle, and she returned his smile. No, it wasn’t for show, not shining in his eyes like that. “Isn’t he the sweetest thing?” she said to the duchess.

“Hmm, indeed.” Lady Adele refused to bristle, but Natalia took it as a point scored all the same. When was the last time the duke had flattered or expressed affection for his wife? Had he ever?

Alfred had grown quite bored of this entire exchange. He’d had nothing of his own to add and had stood by, rolling his eyes and yawning. “I’m supposed to ask you to dance, Your Highness.” He sounded as if it were a choice between dancing and mucking out the stables.

The duchess tried to laugh at her son’s clumsy parroting of whatever he’d been ordered to do. “Oh, Alfred, you won’t impress Her Highness with such a lukewarm invitation.” The laughter masked anger that would likely come out later. For two people who desperately wanted to expand their influence in this kingdom, they had produced a son who could barely keep his end of the bargain.

“Thank you, Alfred, I would like a dance,” Natalia lied. The sooner she got this over with, the better.

“And would you honor me with a dance as well, Your Grace?” Guy asked.

There was that forced laughter again. “Oh, dancing is for the young. I’ll excuse myself and search for company more befitting a woman my age.”

Natalia nearly gasped. The woman had just snubbed the future prince. All other things aside, that simply was not done. But rather than insulted, Guy looked relieved.

The duchess did then excuse herself, and when Natalia turned to Alfred for her obligated dance, she found that he’d wandered off as well. Without his mother present to ensure that he followed through, he apparently felt no need. “Oh, my. Have we both been snubbed?”

“I sure hope so,” Guy answered. “Dance with me?”

Now there was an invitation. “Absolutely.”

It wasn’t the first time they’d danced together. Over the past few years, they’d attended some of the same balls and galas, when she’d make an official visit Grand Chokmah or when he’d come here. In fact, because of his years of avoiding physical contact with women, she’d been the one to teach him the common steps and figures in preparation for such events.

This time he held her a little closer than those dances before, his arm almost possessive around her waist. Her hand was a little firmer on his shoulder, the space between them a little smaller than what was considered acceptable. This time she was acutely aware of the way her body aligned with his, the way they fit and moved together, the way she followed his lead.

Perhaps their lack of time alone made something even as simple as a dance feel like more. The stolen moments were never enough. She’d missed touching him, holding him, being held and touched. And thinking about that reminded her of the way they’d kissed under the tree, and how he’d looked at her then was so much like how he was looking at her now. Like he was remembering and wanting, too.

This train of thought was inappropriate and would only lead to kissing him in the middle of the ballroom, despite the crowd all around them.

So she focused her attention on their guests instead.

“Jozette looks beautiful, doesn’t she?”

The general, usually so severe and authoritative in uniform, was dressed as a dance hall girl, a picture of femininity. Layer upon layer of colorful ruffles made up her skirt, the corset-like bodice accentuated her graceful figure, and her blonde hair had been curled in a soft, tousled style. The choker around her neck was adorned with a bright red rose. Rouge was splashed across her cheeks and lips, enhancing rather than hiding the natural rosy glow underneath.

“We Cecilles are nothing if not beautiful,” Guy answered, and Natalia rolled her eyes at him.

“So, who is he?”

“Who is what?”

“Whomever she’s dressed up for,” Natalia replied. Men were so obtuse sometimes. “I haven’t seen her smile like that in a long time.”

“Hmm.” Guy considered his cousin more carefully. “Yeah, she does look happy.”

“Happy? She’s positively sparkling. That’s the smile of a woman in love. Oh, I’m so thrilled for her. No one deserves happiness more than she does.” While they weren’t close, Natalia felt a certain kinship with Jozette, having both lost the ones they had dreamed of marrying. Perhaps that was why she felt so nosy now, or because they were soon to be in-laws, or because it was just in her nature to be curious about everyone else’s business.

“Maybe, but look,” he said. “Don’t pester her about it. If she wants us to know, she’ll tell us, okay?”

Us. She liked being part of an us. “But if you find anything out—“

“You’ll be the first to know, I promise.”

“That’s all I ask.”

















There are some other conversations that are going to finish off the chapter, primarily one with Luke and Natalia, and one with Guy, Anise, and Luke, and while those are mostly written out, I haven't been able to wrap them up in a way that works.

This chapter will basically be filler, but if I were to write a sentence that said, "The point of this chapter is _______", I do have an answer to the blank, so it's not that it's pointless, it's that the "plotty" bit is on hold until the next part.

Anyway.

Tags: , , , , ,
Current Mood: indescribable indescribable
Current Music: I won't dance--jane monheit

2 pathetic excuses or justify your existence
Comments
cal_reflector From: cal_reflector Date: September 5th, 2010 09:53 pm (UTC) (Link)
and she strove to be the best role model she could for them.

You know Nat better than I; maybe she really does find it important to live her life as a good example for the kids. It's an idealistic, noble ambition which if anyone in Abyss had would be her, the people's princess.


She stood and prepared to follow his example, raising her skirt to her knees.

I think Nat's quick wit would make her realize how improper this was before Guy stopped her from following through. In my mind, she'd realize as soon as she bent and reached for the edge of her skirt, pause, and exchange a look with Guy... ah, saw the following bit, so she was teasing, nvm then.

The conflict between Guy and Nat vs Old Hag was very good; Guy's presence definitely gave Nat the upper hand at sparring compared to the previous encounter. I am not familiar with Jozette and her significance to the story, but perhaps I'm about to be enlightened.

Overall: Good! The story is moving along. My main constructive comment is this: You have spent much time describing how Guy and Nat see and feel about each other. You have successfully established that they are emotionally, physically, even spiritually attracted to each other as friends and lovers. That's good, because their romance is the heart of the story. This also means you can turn your attention to other characters/relationships/plot developments and scale back the time and effort you spend on Guy-><-Nat. I'm certain we will get plenty of that come the Wedding Night and Honey Moon, so for now, feel free to address other aspects of the story you want to/feel necessary establish. The reader will not forget after a few chapters without long paragraphs describing their mutual feelings that the two are deeply and increasingly in love. It may be the best and funnest part, but there's something to be said about saving the best (dessert) for last.

If it's the Other Stuff that's got you agonizing, let me just say that the Danger and Political subplot is quite interesting to follow, and you won't lose readers from focusing on that for a while.

mellowcandle From: mellowcandle Date: September 6th, 2010 04:46 pm (UTC) (Link)
First, thank you for the encouragement and pointing out the good bits.

I think I'm being paranoid about establishing their feelings and as a result I'm overcompensating. I just... hate when fics throw two people in a relationship and all of a sudden it's love when there's been nothing to build up to it, and I guess that makes me take it in the opposite direction and overdo the connection. (And it's not just fics. The other night we watched a movie where the guy fell in love with the girl and asked her to run away with him after ONE DAY. And she did! That stuff drives me nuts! You don't know her!)

I'll try to make this the last big OMG DO YOU SEE IT in that regard. (I'm not really planning on doing much with Jo except that she was basically a mirror held up for Nat. You know I'm never subtle.) I wanted this bit to mainly show them transitioning into actual couple-y behavior, sharing jokes and gossiping about other people's love lives and being affectionate and all that.
2 pathetic excuses or justify your existence