Log in

No account? Create an account
entries friends calendar profile my fic journal Previous Previous Next Next
Idiot Control Now
bees on pie, burning rubber tires
maybe they were dumb reasons, but they were reasons
Okay, when it came down to it, I left the end of Chapter 4 as-is.

I couldn't make a tacked-on Nat POV work without it feeling, well, tacked on. And redundant. I don't need her wondering what her father thinks when we already know what he thinks. I don't need Guy coming out and telling her he passed when we already know he passed. It just ended up feeling like an unnecessary use of POV switch for such a minor thing. And having her react to his acceptance with a hug will only make their kiss in the next chapter feel less special.

And I left the last line, because without it, I feel like you'd be waiting for either a response or a follow-up, and that's not coming yet.

So, anyway, maybe it's still bad, but nothing I came up with made it any better.

Current Mood: indifferent indifferent
Current Music: keep fishin--weezer

2 pathetic excuses or justify your existence
cal_reflector From: cal_reflector Date: October 25th, 2010 11:48 pm (UTC) (Link)
Are you going to lock up your How Far entries so readers can't steal in and read the chapters before you upload them to the Pit?
mellowcandle From: mellowcandle Date: October 26th, 2010 07:10 pm (UTC) (Link)
I'm leaving them open in case anyone wants to leave feedback about characterization, canon discrepancies, etc, that I can still fix.
2 pathetic excuses or justify your existence