L-chan (mellowcandle) wrote,
L-chan
mellowcandle

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maybe they were dumb reasons, but they were reasons

Okay, when it came down to it, I left the end of Chapter 4 as-is.

I couldn't make a tacked-on Nat POV work without it feeling, well, tacked on. And redundant. I don't need her wondering what her father thinks when we already know what he thinks. I don't need Guy coming out and telling her he passed when we already know he passed. It just ended up feeling like an unnecessary use of POV switch for such a minor thing. And having her react to his acceptance with a hug will only make their kiss in the next chapter feel less special.

And I left the last line, because without it, I feel like you'd be waiting for either a response or a follow-up, and that's not coming yet.

So, anyway, maybe it's still bad, but nothing I came up with made it any better.
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