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I know what you're saying, so please stop explaining - Idiot Control Now — LiveJournal
bees on pie, burning rubber tires
mellowcandle
mellowcandle
I know what you're saying, so please stop explaining
5 pathetic excuses or justify your existence
Comments
cal_reflector From: cal_reflector Date: July 31st, 2012 03:49 am (UTC) (Link)
Hard to escape from familiar character molds; their voices and tendencies, the things they find amusing.

Compared to Kaho, Natalia ought to be younger and less mature; not immature, less mature. Guy is 3-4 years older and their relationship should reflect that difference.
mellowcandle From: mellowcandle Date: July 31st, 2012 07:53 pm (UTC) (Link)
That's not really the problem I'm having. It's more of her knowing what he's going to say before he says it. It happens in relationships. D and I do it all the time. But it's turning into a lazy writing device if I use it too often, so I need to fix it.
cal_reflector From: cal_reflector Date: August 1st, 2012 04:01 am (UTC) (Link)
Sorry for the late (by my standards) reply. I don't LJ at work.

Even though they go way back, you built in a period where they were apart for a few years, right? It has been mere months since Natalia began seeing Guy in a romantic light. Even with the best chemistry between old friends, the kind of intimate anticipation you describe should take time to ferment. They should still be learning, stepping on toes here and there, surprises and discoveries, etc. I think it'd balance out the current dynamic where they're dying to devour each other in bed.
mellowcandle From: mellowcandle Date: August 1st, 2012 01:57 pm (UTC) (Link)
No, I'm not explaining it right. It's a writing device I'm overusing, that's all, and I'm trying to fix it so it doesn't seem repetitive. I mean, I realized I used the exact same phrasing. That's the problem.
cal_reflector From: cal_reflector Date: August 1st, 2012 02:01 pm (UTC) (Link)
Just in case, the anonymous comment was mine.
5 pathetic excuses or justify your existence