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Idiot Control Now
bees on pie, burning rubber tires
a circle can't fit where a square should be
Dang, this show can make me cry. THOSE BASTARDS BROKE MY HARU.

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We've been building up to this break all season, and it's subtle like that, just like in real life. Every little bit piles up. Every bit of pressure, every concern about the future, every "you could go pro" and "you're the pride of our school" is just another pebble on his shoulder, each little thing no one thinks means anything, until the weight is enough to crush you, and when you live in your head like Haru and I do, you can't let anyone else inside, or this happens. Everyone else drowns you out, you can't hear yourself anymore, and you lose it.

And Mako saw it but couldn't do anything, because Haru said he was fine, because that's what we do. We say we're fine, but sooner or later it's just one thing too much, and we finally blow up.

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And Rin was probably the best person to unload on, because Rin, you know this. You went through this last year. You lost sight of yourself and what you were doing. Your reasons are different, but it's the same thing. And since you put everyone else through this, you can take it. It's safer to blow up at you instead of letting down his best friend and his team.

But this all just made me so sad it's hard to focus on the good little moments sprinkled throughout, like Nitori making the relay, and Rin absolutely crushing it in his events, and Hana-chan and the girls showing up to support the team, and more Gou and Nagisa sitting next to each other (D says he's convinced that they're supposed to be canon, but since the show's not about that, it only shows up in visuals like that), and

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an actual Rin-Makoto conversation. Two captains who can't help their team members in crisis.

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Because they've finally succeeded in making me care about Sousuke, and this has also been building since the beginning if you go back and watch, so yes, I'm with you except for one thing: Dude, you know how much the relay means to Rin, and if you fuck this up for him because you're afraid to tell him what's going on.... Just, dude, COME ON. I'm still waiting for the other shoe to drop with this, too, because I do still think he's lying. But that Rin is completely in the dark when they are boyfriends roommates is a bit much, plus he's the damn captain, though I know he's got a whole big team to worry about while Makoto only has three guys. Still.

To end on a less depressing note, D wanted a gif of this, so I had to do it:

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Nagisa: We're not going to lose tomorrow.
Rin: That's my line.
Me: But you didn't say it, DID YOU?

D said, "Do you know why I love this show? I love how you watch this show, and how you love each of the boys in turn, and identify with them all, because that's how I was with K-ON."

Because it's true.

Current Mood: drained drained
Current Music: hole hearted--extreme

7 pathetic excuses or justify your existence
cal_reflector From: cal_reflector Date: August 28th, 2014 03:54 pm (UTC) (Link)
Yeah, things got heavy in a real hurry, didn't it? Probably the grimmest episode so far.

Haru completely melted down. In S1 Rin swam poorly. Haru can't even finish. I didn't think the expectations from strangers would get to him; did not think Haru would care about them. The expectations of his teammates and friends? That weighed on him. That is interesting and says a lot about Haru as a character: In most stories, on the big stage, the character gets a big boost from high hopes from his teammates and coaches. The encouragement is particularly effective if expectations were low to begin with or come from an unexpected quarter; see Nitori <-- Sousuke.

Iwatobi are an encouraging bunch, but Haru didn't need more encouragement. It just becomes extra pressure. I suppose this episode shows that even Haru's closest friends still don't understand him. They were telling him "I know you can do it" and "Get out there and blow them away" when what he needed to hear was "Just swim like you always do, enjoy it." Good coaches know how to motivate athletes; some need goading, some need pumping up, some need calming down, some need very little except a reminder that it's business as usual.

Sousuke... that's rough, the first time career-ending injuries have been brought up in this show. The shot of him sitting alone in the dark shower is a great one, from an artistic standpoint. He wants so bad to swim with Rin he swam through injury, probably aggravating it in the process. We'll see what he does. I think he'll drop out; if he doesn't, and Samezuka does poorly as a result, there will be a dramatic confrontation, the truth will come out, and Sosuke-Rin shippers will go nuts.

mellowcandle From: mellowcandle Date: August 29th, 2014 09:43 pm (UTC) (Link)
It was definitely the wrong kind of motivation, which is why I related so much, because what some people mean as encouragement, I internalize as pressure, and it's ultimately paralyzing. I actually liked seeing him get outwardly angry though, because he's so stoic, and he needed that outburst to recenter himself. And it reminds people, hey, this is actually a person, not a machine. Just because he's quiet doesn't mean there's not a lot going on in that head.

And I can have sympathy for Sousuke's injury having just gone through shoulder surgery and months of PT with D, because even though he's not an athlete, he still hasn't tried to play golf again and doesn't know if he'll ever be able to. Samezuka needs some damn alternates, though. (I said, "You know, Rin kind of sucks as captain if he doesn't have alternates lined up for the relay", and D said, "You know it's not real, right?")
cal_reflector From: cal_reflector Date: August 30th, 2014 12:23 am (UTC) (Link)
You're right, the outburst was important. He handled it a lot better than Rin too. Rin was a serial firecracker in season 1. Now he's all fizzed out.

Maybe part of Rin's maturity is because Mikoshiba Elder made him captain; being trusted with a position of responsibility must have helped.
cal_reflector From: cal_reflector Date: August 28th, 2014 11:54 pm (UTC) (Link)
Random aside: What if the boys from Free! and the girls from K-on hung out, how would the pairings shape up?
mellowcandle From: mellowcandle Date: August 29th, 2014 09:53 pm (UTC) (Link)
Even though they're supposed to be the same age, the K-ON girls always read as middle schoolers to me. Even in the college chapters, I felt like they were twelve. So I couldn't see crossover pairings. The boys just seem so much older (well, okay, maybe not Nagisa).
cal_reflector From: cal_reflector Date: August 30th, 2014 12:39 am (UTC) (Link)
It's just the difference in art style. The boys look muscular, but are actually very light.

Take Mio: 160CM, 54 KG.

Nagisa: 165CM, 55KG.

See? They're practically identical! Even Looks-like-he-got-scouted-by-Ohio-State-to-Play-Tight-End Makoto is only listed as 6 feet, 160 pounds... which is impossible of course.

Actually, NVM, Japan's best backstroke swimmer only weighs 137 pounds. Okay then.

Honestly though, personality-wise? Only Makoto is boy friend material. All the other boys I have difficulty picturing with girl friends. They're odd.
mellowcandle From: mellowcandle Date: September 1st, 2014 04:36 pm (UTC) (Link)
It's not the art, it's a personality/maturity thing. I can't take Yui or Ritsu seriously as young adults about to be let loose in the world. They'd be living in a box because they'd never remember to pay rent.

And of course lovely Makoto is the ideal boyfriend, but I think Nagisa would be a good boyfriend in his own goofy way--he's fun, he's loyal, he's caring, and he's physically affectionate. The others are more of a challenge for sure. Any girlfriend of Rin's would have to be extremely understanding, but he does have that endearingly dorky romantic side to him. Rei thinks love is illogical, which means when it hits him, it will hit him stupid hard. Haru, though... yeah, I don't think girls even register with him.
7 pathetic excuses or justify your existence